Most people enjoy the holidays, but they can be downright magical for young children. Kids relish the time off from school and the exciting family traditions that come with the holiday season.
Parents preparing for the holidays after separating from their spouses or divorcing have unique challenges ahead of them. They likely want to preserve the holiday magic for their children while sharing custody. Doing so can be difficult, but those who keep the focus on the kids can achieve their goals. The three tips below can make it easier to preserve the holiday magic in a shared custody scenario.
Set a schedule but remain flexible
Parents establishing both temporary and permanent custody orders typically need to include clear scheduling rules for the holidays and other special events. Parents may alternate the holidays or may divide them in half. They may even agree to attend family get-togethers as a unit in some cases. Having a schedule and sticking to it is usually the best way to avoid conflict around the holidays. However, both parents may need to be flexible as factors including unexpected work responsibilities or illnesses can require last-minute adjustments to holiday plans.
Start new family traditions
Shared custody arrangements allow families to preserve existing family traditions. They may be able to continue attending the same holiday get-togethers and enjoying the same meals they always have. The continuation of existing traditions is valuable, but so is the development of new traditions. Newly divorced parents may want to try decorating Christmas cookies, volunteering at community shelters or otherwise finding new traditions to help them bond with their children every holiday season.
Coordinate gifts instead of competing
Parents often fall into a trap where they try to give their children the best, most exciting gifts they can. Sometimes, they end up duplicating each other’s gifts. Other times, they overextend themselves and set the bar far too high for future celebrations. Parents who discuss their gift-giving intentions ahead of time can avoid giving their children the same gifts or spending too much out of a sense of competition. Parents can even combine their resources to afford the more expensive gifts that older children and teenagers may request.
Those who prioritize their children can make the holidays joyful even in a stressful shared custody scenario. Maintaining a cooperative approach and keeping the focus on the kids are both important for those who want the holidays to be joyful despite changes to a family unit.
