When a divorce is in process, there is often nothing more controversial than child custody and child support determinations. For separating parents, what happens with the children post-divorce can be a very difficult issue to agree upon. While California courts determine child custody on a best interest of the child concept, the courts often first look to the parents if the separating couple has agreed on a child custody arrangement.
Yet, sometimes couples cannot agree on child custody questions. In a contentious divorce, being generous with custody time is sometimes the last thing on a parent’s mind. But what does this mean for post-divorce communications with one’s ex-spouse. A number of divorcees have offered advice on how to communicate with one’s spouse after the divorce. For many experts, maintaining a healthy relationship with an ex-spouse is particular important for the children.
One recent article lists examples of how other divorced couples approach communication post divorce. Some state that they focus on the interests of their children and let that guide them in ex-spousal communications. Some indicate they communicate with the ex-spouse via email only. Others suggest to not be afraid to be honest and upfront about issues. Harboring bad feelings is usually never an ideal way to go about an issue. One ex-spouse strives to maintain a cordial, but business like demeanor in all communications. Treating the relationship like a business communication might help one be kind to the ex-spouse while simultaneously negotiating in a manner that makes both parties happy.
Ultimately, communicating with one’s ex-spouse is certainly a difficult endeavor, but one that is certainly necessary when children are involved. Determining the best approach for one’s self is the most important piece of the puzzle.
Source: Huffington Post, “Parenting after divorce: 13 ways to make communication with your ex-spouse less stressful,” January 21, 2013.