It can feel awkward and uncomfortable when you are first starting out in a co-parenting relationship with your ex. You will need to learn to communicate in a new way, and this may be challenging at first. As difficult as it can be to successfully establish a positive co-parenting relationship, it is highly beneficial for your child that you do so.
If you have recently separated from the other parent of your child, the following are some things you can do in the beginning for the benefit of everyone involved, but most importantly for the benefit of your child.
Let go of your old communication habits
You’ll almost certainly have certain communication habits that you tend to engage in with your ex, whether they are flirtatious, angry or argumentative. Whatever habits you have fallen into as a couple, you need to learn to let go of these as you enter a co-parenting relationship.
Be transparent
Transparency and clarity are key when it comes to communicating in a co-parenting relationship. You don’t need to be overly friendly or polite toward your ex but it is important that you remember to communicate promptly, clearly and transparently. Ideally, you should try to have a neutral tone – not hostile but not too friendly either. Imagine you are communicating with a coworker that you do not know very well. This formal tone means that no one misinterprets messages as manipulative or hostile and that messages are efficient and clear.
Set boundaries
Your ex, even if they are the parent of your child, is still your ex. This means that both of you have the right to move on, be your own person and date again. Try to keep the conversation focused only on your child, and set boundaries so that you are able to focus on your own well-being.
If you are entering a co-parenting relationship, it’s important that you and your ex avoid conflict and get off to a good start for the sake of your child.
