There is no question that divorce can be a trying process. It is difficult to make the decision or accept the fact that a once intended life long relationship is going to end early. A separating couple has built a life together and often shares bank accounts and children, in addition to sharing friends, family and other property. Coming to terms with the fact that one will no longer have that individual in his or her life is hard, no doubt. Sometimes, all of these emotional and stressful factors play into the divorce process, lurking somewhere deep in the unconscious mind, surfacing later as anger and frustration.
As many California residents know, these hard felt emotions can mean a very contentious divorce process. The adversarial nature of the courtroom certainly doesn’t help matters. Some experts suggest ways to make this process of separation less harsh by engaging in a more neutral divorce proceeding and seriously considering how the divorce may be a good thing, in the end. Divorce mediation is one form of obtaining a divorce that may be more welcoming than a courtroom. In mediation, a neutral decision maker assists the separating couple in determining all the tough questions, like the division of property and child custody.
Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the courtroom, during mediation, parties often sit at a table together and discuss the issues. The parties’ lawyers may also be present during discussions. This process permits for each couple to really talk to each other, guided by professionals, in order to come to agreement.
After the divorce is over, some experts also suggest undergoing some serious detoxification of the mind and body. A California based company called Divorce Detox provides such an opportunity. A Santa Monica based location assigns life partners to participants. The recently divorced are then encouraged to think about how this separation can affect his or her life in a positive way.
No matter how one obtains a divorce, considering the best process during divorce and how to approach divorce post separation are just as important as determining the tough questions like who gets the house and where the kids go during the holidays.
Source: New York Times, “Cleansing toxins of divorce,” Jesse McKinley, Dec. 14, 2012.