The goal of divorce mediation is usually to reach an agreement. Spouses who do not currently see eye to eye on key divorce issues can attend mediation together to resolve their disagreements. When divorce mediation is successful, spouses sign an agreement outlining the terms that they set. That agreement then paves the way for an uncontested divorce.
Proper preparation before divorce mediation is important for success. Spouses need to understand what might happen if they litigate if they hope to recognize when proposed terms are unfair. They also need to understand what occurs throughout the mediation process. Additionally, they may want to work on enhancing their emotional intelligence. Their ability to recognize and manage their emotions can have a major impact on the likelihood of successful mediation.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence relates to understanding human emotions and responding appropriately to their own emotional reactions. People cultivating emotional intelligence often work to name and understand their own feelings as they experience them. They may establish plans for handling intense negative emotions, including anxiety, anger and grief.
They may also need to work on recognizing how those emotions manifest in others and appropriate ways to interact with those experiencing intense emotional responses. Emotional intelligence helps people prioritize rational behavior over emotional reactions.
How emotional intelligence affects mediation
During mediation sessions, spouses have to focus on their goals and on effective communication. They have to address many practical matters related to the end of their marriage. Intense emotional reactions can exacerbate conflict or cause people to make unrealistic demands.
Spouses preparing for mediation need to have strategies in place to identify and control negative emotional reactions in themselves as they arise. They may also need to prepare for intense negative responses on the part of their spouses. People need to be ready to react calmly when a spouse becomes emotional and to redirect the negotiations to focus on what matters.
Discussing personal triggers and warning signs of intense emotions in oneself and a spouse with an attorney can be an important part of preparing for divorce mediation. People who prioritize increasing and utilizing their emotional intelligence during mediation may be in a better position to finish the process successfully.
