Spouses preparing for divorce often expect a contentious process. They may have years of suppressed resentment and anger that developed throughout the marriage. Many people go to divorce court expecting vindication.
High levels of conflict can do everyone involved a great disservice during the divorce process. The spouses may increase their stress levels and costs without necessarily obtaining the outcome or sense of closure they desire. The conflict they have with each other can be very damaging for any children that they share.
Many divorcing couples now look into alternatives before litigation, including divorce mediation. Mediation provides an opportunity for spouses to resolve their conflicts and pursue an uncontested divorce.
Spouses can address private matters
Frequently, the anger or resentment that surfaces during a divorce has roots in marital misconduct. One spouse may have cheated or wasted marital property on substance abuse. Neither spouse may want to make those issues part of the public record by exploring them in family court. It is possible to discuss marital issues at length in mediation because it is a confidential process. Spouses can talk about why they believe concessions related to custody, financial support or property division are necessary without risking that information becoming public knowledge.
Spouses retain control
In a contested or litigated divorce, the spouses have to rely on a judge to settle their disagreements, distribute their property and make other critical divorce decisions. It can be very disempowering to hand over that authority. When spouses successfully mediate, they sign an agreement with one another outlining the terms that they both agree are appropriate. They can then use that agreement as the basis for an uncontested divorce filing.
Spouses can control the costs of the divorce in addition to the outcome by minimizing what they argue over in court. They can also speed up the process, which can be beneficial for those who are eager to move on from a failed marriage. If mediation is not successful and spouses cannot work together successfully, then they always have the option of proceeding with a litigated divorce.
Attempting to settle matters through divorce mediation can be an empowering and overall beneficial decision. Spouses who work together instead of fighting against one another may feel more satisfied with the outcome of their divorce and may have an easier time moving on after the end of their marriage.
