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Signs mediation is right for you and signs that it isn’t

On Behalf of | Oct 18, 2017 | Blog |

When you decide to divorce, there are several options available. For example, you can choose litigation, collaborative law or mediation. Each process comes with its own set of requirements, benefits and negative aspects. It is important to examine each option and determine which one is right for you and your specific situation.

If you are considering mediation for your divorce, there are aspects of the process you should know about. While mediation can work for many couples, there are red flags that you should watch out for that may indicate it is not your best option. Read below to find out more about mediation and whether it is right for you.

The basics

Even if you and your husband can barely stand to breathe the same air, mediation may still be an option. By working with a neutral third party, the two of you may be able to come to an agreement with respect to dividing marital property, such as your home in Pleasanton. In many cases, mediation can be much less expensive than a court battle.

In addition, it is also generally a faster process than other divorce options available. Mediation allows you to maintain control of the decision making. For instance, if you go before a California divorce court, you may be leaving it up to the judge as to which one of you gets what.

Red flags

While mediation may seem like the best option for your divorce, there are red flags that you should be aware of. If there is an imbalance of power and your spouse continuously dominates the process or you easily give in under pressure, then the mediation could fail. However, you have every right to bring in an attorney to advise you on whether or not the mediation is effective.

If one or both of you does not care at all about the other’s needs, wants or point of view, mediation may be doomed to fail. In order for mediation to be successful, both of you must be open to understanding the other’s side of things.

Other red flags that might indicate mediation is not right for you include mental instability of your spouse, you suspect he might be hiding assets, you believe your spouse might attempt to take your children out of state without your consent, or there is a serious amount of distrust. If one or more of these conditions exist, litigation might be the best option so that the court is completely involved in the process.

If you are considering divorce, it is important to choose the right method for your particular circumstances. Mediation might be your best option as long as it suits your needs and none of the red flags mentioned above are present.


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John T. Chamberlin, Attorney at Law
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