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Seven tips to a smooth divorce in Oakland

In this great and very populated nation, there are a variety of personalities and with that a spectrum of experiences with divorce. While each separating couple in California might need different things or processes when obtaining a divorce, per one divorce expert, there are at least a few things all couples should do in order ensure the least contentious divorce possible.

A divorce lawyer to the stars recently published a book that lists a "to do" list for separating spouses. Specifically, the expert recommends at least seven important steps. First, she suggests breaking the divorce request to one's spouse in the most kind and loving way possible. Starting out non-confrontational and sensitive to the other spouse's needs can set a serene setting for the future divorce process.

Next, the expert suggests getting some good help. Specifically, separating spouses are advised to obtain and good therapist and an excellent attorney. Making sure one has the emotional support necessary when going through a divorce is important for personal health and can also help the divorce process go smoothly by keeping a spouse sane and grounded. The state of California is a no fault divorce state which means a pit-bull lawyer is not necessary, but a good, thoughtful and creative lawyer will be crucial in the divorce process.

The expert also suggesting not trying to hid assets as this will only cause problems in the future. She advises spouses try to divide assets collaboratively with one's spouse by using a new and helpful application called iSplit Divorce Pro. She further suggests couples should try to avoid going to court at all costs. Divorce court can be a long, contentious and grueling process that drives the separating couple even further apart. Searching out alternative such as mediation and collaborative negotiating can make the divorce more amicable, fairer and fast.

Last, the expert advises borrowing tactics from professionals who create contracts all the time. These professionals create a list of most-do's before the contract can be executed. This same process can help divorcing couples set the tone and parameters for the future negotiating efforts.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Divorce Confidential: A Cheating Heart and Its Role in Divorce," Caroline Choi, Oct. 1, 2013.

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